I had a convo a few weeks ago with Iain Gray at Ten More Clients.** It came up that working for yourself is an emotional rollercoaster. For every step forward in the business you have to grow as a person. Hits you take in business feel intensely personal. One of the (many) emotional issues that comes up for most (all?) entrepreneurs is fear. Dirty, stinky lizard brain fear.
We’ve all heard Seth Godin talk about the Lizard Brain. Back in the day Nick Williams was talking about resistance. Turns out they were talking about the same thing.
I toddled along for years thinking if I was just enlightened enough or mediated enough or or tried hard enough or just did it (whatever it may have been ) right I would stop having lizard brain fear reactions and resistance.
Then I had a conversation with Tamarisk.* She said the lizard brain isn’t a metaphor. Its an actual brain structure, the amygdala. Tamarisk is a counselor, she knows this stuff. If you’re into medical thing this is a picture of the amygdala. Resistance and lizard brain fear are hard coded. In my head the lizard brain looks like a kimodo dragon.
Once upon an evolutionary time social ostracization meant death. Back in the hunting and gathering days, if the villagers wouldn’t let you play reindeer games, you likely wouldn’t eat, miss out on trips to the watering hole and you didn’t get to mate. Now, if you’d rather hide under your couch than hit publish, your amygdala is convinced you’ll become a social outcast. Your lizard brain believes you will DIE.
So whats all this mean to you and your biz? The Lizard brain will give you its two cents whether you want it or not. The trick is to learn how to get past it.
The first trick is to understand that its just your lizard brain overreacting, not a genuinely scary thing. There are no saber toothed cats threatening to eat you. Its just a blog post. Its pretty tough to get ostracized form society these days. Hitting publish can’t kill you. I find that thanking the kimodo dragon/lizard brain for its diligence then telling it to fuck off helps. How can you make peace with your lizard brain? Or kimodo dragon as the case might be. let me know what you think in the comments.
*If you don’t know Tamarisk you should. She’s a relationship coach/counselor, but a regular person too. Imagine your best friend if she had brilliant advice about your business and your love life.
**If you don’t know Iain, you should. He’s a networking genius. He can take your networking from “We should get coffee sometime” to “I have referrals you”
9:12 pm
Well put…of course I will never be able to look at a lizard again at the zoo without thinking of this. My technique is a quick meditative thought and using Frank Herbert’s Dune passage: “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear… And when it is gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear is gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Not sure if was the effort to memorize it, the breathing technique that accompanied my memorization or something magical about it. All I know is it works for me.
9:49 am
Thanks Jerry! That’s an interesting technique. Quotes and phrases seem to gain power when they’re repeated. Glad you found something that works.